Hoyt Richards Shares How He Was Manipulated into Joining a Cult

From being one of the most successful models in the world to joining the Eternal Values cult, Hoyt Richards has led an extraordinary life that was chronicled in a captivating docuseries. The star of HBO's Bring Me the Beauties: A Model Cult exclusively told Men's Journal about the fascinating reason he initially refused to believe he was in a cult. He also discussed how the group's leader, Frederick von Mierers, drew him in, his escape, his recovery, and what makes everyday people vulnerable to being controlled.

From Supermodel to Cult Member: Hoyt Richards' Journey

Men's Journal: What made you decide to trust your story to Chris Smith and HBO?

Hoyt Richards: I've wanted to tell this story for a long time. I actually tried to do it on my own about eight or nine years ago. I hired a director, and it just didn't work out, because I've got a very specific lens through which I wanted to tell my story. So, the director and I had, as they say in Hollywood, creative differences. I've also been on podcasts and talked about my story.

Here is how working with Chris Smith played out. There was a woman named Sarma Melngailis, who had a raw food restaurant in New York. She was very successful. She had gone to Harvard and then Wharton Business School. She was blonde, very bright, very pretty, and successful. Then she met some guy who was a manipulative Svengali-type person who spun a web around her and got involved with her intensely, leading to them getting married. Long story short, he had gambling issues, but he was telling her about all these grand plans they were going to do. She ends up fleecing her business for money, not paying employees, and paying him millions.

After she literally ran from the law for months, she was captured and arrested. Afterward, she was coming out of the cloud, and she's like, "Oh my god, you know, I've been basically brainwashed." At that point, she was trying to build her case to try to lighten the sentence, and she looked into coercive control. She ended up talking to Steve Hassan, who wrote this book, Combating Cult Mind Control.

Steve was a friend of mine, and he was talking to her to try to help her with her case. After a while, he said to her, "Oh, you should talk to my buddy Hoyt. He went to Princeton, and he got himself in a crazy situation." So, I talked to her like five or six times before she went to serve her prison sentence at Rikers Island to try to prepare her for what I call the aftermath, which is what happens once you come out of the cloud and figure out what's happened to you.

When Chris Smith decided to do a doc about her, she said to him, "You have got to interview this guy, Hoyt Richards, he was really helpful to me." So, I get the phone call. And you know, I was familiar with Chris's work, so I said, "Yeah, okay, great. I'd be happy." But after about an hour, he's like, "Well, I want to know more about her story and what happened to her." And I said, "Listen, I don't really know her story. You know, I came in at the end, just trying to prepare her for what I would call the recovery path."

So, he goes, "Well, I looked you up, and you seem like you've got a story." I go, "Well, I guess you could call it that." And he said, "Can I ask you a few questions?" I said, "Yeah, sure. I've been talking about this forever." Nine hours later, he's like, "Oh, my God, I got to tell that story." So that's how it happened.

Men's Journal: Were you relieved when you got to see the docuseries that he did your story justice?

Hoyt Richards: Yeah, listen, it's one of those things. The docuseries is limited to three hours. I think one of the parts that I consider most important is what I call the ripple effect, meaning how it affects the family and friends. I would have loved it if the series included more of that. But there is just not enough time to include everything. I thought Chris did a great job of really covering the whole gamut. But I could talk about this stuff forever.

It's hard for me not to see things that I would love to include that I can't. Overall, I'm really, really happy with the way it turned out. It's a great foundation to build upon. I think it starts the conversation, which is all I've ever wanted to do: have a conversation with people

Men's Journal: As somebody who only knows your story through the documentary, I personally feel like it did a marvelous job of depicting the ripple effect that you described. While the moments that focused on your family were sparse, they were all so powerful. As a viewer, you can empathize with your family and yourself whenever they come up, and those emotions stick with you. The pain that you display when you're talking about your relationship with your family and the letter you sent your father really resonates. As do the moments when your brother speaks and the archival footage of your parents is shown.

Hoyt Richards: Oh, good. I'm so, so happy to hear that. That warms my heart.

Men's Journal: Did working on Bring Me the Beauties: A Model Cult and having it come out make you draw any new conclusions about your experiences in the cult?

Hoyt Richards: Tons. That's a great question. No one's ever asked me that question. I have discovered tons because Chris was really collaborative with me and wanted my opinions. He would show me some of the rough cuts and I learned a lot about the psychology behind things from that. I consider myself more of an educator and less of a storyteller. I just want to get the information to people.

When I saw the footage, I could see where it forced me to get more poignant and reflective about, "What am I trying to say? What do I feel is missing?" We would have some great conversations based on how to tell the story because I would see stuff and be like, "This is great that you raised this, but I feel like I want to have it explained a little bit. There was this point where I said this, and maybe this could be included for context." Going through that affects how I express myself to this day because I still write blogs and aricles.

I try to inform people, and it's just a continual process as I experience more things in the world. We just live in this cultic society, and I can see that because of what I went through. I'm heavily generalizing. But there is this pattern of people falling into binary thinking and thinking in absolutes that is so counterproductive to people. You can't live in those shades of gray in cult living. Either you're with us, or you're against us. Either we're right, or you're wrong. I've learned that the world just isn't like that.

Can It Happen to Anyone?

Men's Journal: I'm somebody who's watched several other docuseries and documentaries about cults. I feel like people like me watch them for two main reasons. One, because it's kind of fun to sit there and judge people for the situation they got in. But on the other hand, I think part of the appeal is that viewers can see how they could fall into one of those situations too. Everybody desires acceptance and to feel like they are part of an elite group. What do you think people need to understand about whether there is a certain kind of person who gets involved in a cult?

Hoyt Richards: First of all, it's music to my ears to hear that's how you perceived the docuseries, and that you could relate to that happening to you on some level. To me, the most important thing is that it really can happen to anyone. That's why I try to phrase the most accurate description of my experience as a 20-year cultic relationship with a group. The reason I frame it as a cultic relationship is that I believe that is a universal condition.

How I'd frame a cultic relationship is that they usually involve a situation where someone has engaged you and is giving you a lot of attention, maybe some flattery, and kind of swept you off your feet in some way. It can happen in many different types of relationships. You like the adoration, and you start seeking it out. After pulling you in like that, not every person will do it, but certain people will start to control and abuse you. Basically, the dynamic is that you've usually unconsciously given your power away in some form. You just start trying to make this person happy. But it seems like no matter what you do, it's never enough, and you're somehow being diminished. I feel like that is the cult dynamic.

You have to look at these things as spectrums. Every relationship, whether one-on-one or a group dynamic, falls somewhere on that spectrum. It's not unlike autism. You have to consider, "Where's my relationship on the spectrum?"

Those are the exact dynamics you're talking about, that it can happen to anyone. If someone had told me going in that there are people out there who will use your noble inclinations to be a better person, do the right thing, help others out, and be less selfish to manipulate me, things might have been different. I didn't know that person existed. What I experienced was, "Oh, this person gets me, they hear me, they understand me."

I was coming from a family that was pretty awesome in many ways, but had a lot of expectations as far as excellence, and I didn't really have a game plan. That is what I describe as the perfect storm. If you're at a point in your life when you're seeking answers, and you cross paths with someone who seems to, from your point of view, provide answers to some of those questions, you think it's awesome. If you don't know that people use good intentions as leverage, you won't look for the red flags and say, "Oh, but this could be a manipulation."

During my first conversation with the Eternal Values cult's leader, Frederick von Mierers, he was saying things that were very complimentary. He would say things to me like, "Oh, you're different than your friends," or "You're unique," or, "Your destiny is different." So, I ended up thinking to myself, "Am I different than my friends? Do I have a destiny?" I thought that instead of thinking, "Who's this person I just met who's acting as if they know me?" If you don't know and you're not told there's a technique involved, you just start contemplating, "Oh, this person somehow sees me or gets me." You don't perceive the manipulation. That's where the danger falls.

When I go out to the universities and that sort of thing, I just want to make kids aware that, "These people are out there and these are the techniques they have. If you don't know they're out there, you might have the perception that meeting them is a great thing when it might be something very dangerous." I just feel that type of information can be really valuable to people.

Men's Journal: There's a concept in poker called being pot committed. That is when a person has already put so much money into the pot that they are willing to go all-in on a bad bet because folding and losing what they've already invested doesn't make sense. When you are in a cult, whether subconsciously or consciously, how big a factor is it that you've gone so far that you feel committed to the next step?

Hoyt Richards: That is spot on, spot on. It really is because as the years and the money accumulate, you're so invested. You can make the argument that I kind of built the prison I found myself in because I was so invested, and I paid for it. I didn't perceive it to be a prison at the time. I actually thought it was my sanctuary. I thought, "This is the place I can retreat to as I'm in this incredibly superficial and non-spiritual world of fashion." You inherit your costume from your parents. You won the genetic lottery, now cash in. But what does that have to do with any kind of spirituality?

I thought, "Oh, it's because I'm involved with this group, and I can retreat there, and they understand me, they see me. They don't get caught up in all that." I didn't perceive it to be all those things until I got to the very end.

I didn't leave because I saw it was bad. Instead, leaving was so difficult for all the reasons you're describing, "I've come this far. They're telling me I'm close." But I'm thinking to myself, "I'm never going to make it. I'll never measure up." I didn't recognize that what they were asking me to be was impossible or that how they were treating me was abuse. It wasn't seen that way. "Oh, no, they believe in me. This is all part of the training. I have just got to keep sucking it up." I mean, you become your own worst enemy in that way.

You are also accountable. After all, you have seen stuff along the way that you've kind of self-censored out because you're so committed to that original narrative. You tell yourself, "This is what I'm involved with. This is real." So, you self-censor out all that other information that's clearly contradictory and shows that maybe this isn't what you thought it was. And none of that starts to rise to the surface until you finally decide to leave. At least that was my experience. So, yeah, it's exactly like the pot all in.

Eternal Values doesn't exist anymore because I sued them and took them down. But the former members who have not really chosen to deal with it, that's why they really struggle. If you can't have the humility to just admit to yourself that you got conned on some level, you can't take the first step to say, "Maybe there's more to the picture here than I'm willing to admit." If you keep taking the cosmic point of view and say, "Oh, it's just a step on my spiritual path." It's like, "Well, yeah, but what about the f*****g abuse, dude? Come on! Some of those people I have seen stay stuck for 40 years. They have not really dealt with it. It breaks my heart.

The Terror of Going Public

Men's Journal: How much did you actually believe everything the group was claiming?

Hoyt Richards: Do you mean Arcturus and all the crazy s**t?

Men's Journal: Exactly. During the talk show footage that is seen in the docuseries, it looks like you were pained when those topics were being discussed. It comes across like maybe you were going through the motions and weren't entirely bought in.

Hoyt Richards: I can tell you why I was pained: I was terrified. The guy who was Frederick‘s typical sidekick had just left the group, John Andreadis. He would have normally been in that role. But because he had just left and been declared the antichrist by the cult all that sort of stuff, this other girl and I were the ones who were put forward. Before that, I was not going public about being part of the group. I kept that part of my life very private. So, I was terrified that someone might recognize me. I was so s**t scared. That's what was going on. I was also so self-conscious because whatever I said on the show was going to be dissected later, and you'd be crucified. "You had this opportunity to say this, and look what you said." So, we were just walking on eggshells.

But as far as my belief at that point, yeah, I was bought in. I was totally bought in. I hate to admit that to myself. But I was bought in at that point. That wasn't the issue. I was terrified of f*****g up and putting my foot in my mouth, and being caught in a role that I didn't feel comfortable in because I didn't want to go public.

Men's Journal: One of the things that a lot of these cults do, including the one you were part of from my perspective, is take spiritual ideas and corrupt them to gain control over people. As somebody who went through that, how does that affect your views on spirituality now?

Hoyt Richards: That's a great question. People ask me, "Do you have any kind of faith now?" And it actually increased my faith from the point of view that my greatest obstacle in the group was just not understanding why things didn't add up. That is where cults are very, very effective. It is involved in politics, too, because all of that gets very cultic.

A lot of the information you're getting is legitimate, but it's either interpreted differently or it doesn't match the behavior within the group. That's where all the bad stuff starts happening. But if you question that, you get crushed. The truth is that a lot of times, the behavior or the interpretation is almost even the opposite of what you've just read. But when you raise questions, you get attacked, and then you start to think, "Oh, I just don't understand it, I just have to take my cues and go along."

You make these micro compromises, and your critical thinking gets eroded. It starts to make you think, "Is my mind the thing that's most dangerous for me? I just need to follow the leader, because clearly, left to myself, I'm a lost cause." So that's kind of what ends up happening.

For me, coming out of that constant confusion and feeling like I was never measuring up and realizing, "Oh, my God, there was a mechanism at play, manipulation at play, these are the techniques. Oh, I can forgive myself. It's not like I was a brain-damaged and gullible person. That is just how most people would respond if they found themselves in that kind of situation. There's nothing wrong with me."

Those were some important lessons I had to learn from going to the school of hard knocks. That's how I try to frame it. It's actually empowered my belief because, in some crazy way, the work I'm doing now has given me exactly what I thought I was signing up for. So, it all kind of came full circle in a weird way.

The Escape

Men's Journal: How it worked out that way is fascinating. When you finally decided that you were going to exit, was that a gradual thing? Joining the group was gradual for you, right?

Hoyt Richards: Yeah, exactly.

Men's Journal: On the opposite side, was it just as gradual, or was there a crystallizing moment that caused a sudden realization?

Hoyt Richards: Great question. There were two things. One was the love affair I had with Donna Flagg, whom I'm marrying in September. We have been on a long, wonderful, crazy love story. We had been dating covertly for those four years. When I finally confessed that, I got attacked and was forced to break up with her in a really harsh way. For me, watching someone who was a total innocent being treated that way really stuck a claw in my craw. That was a huge shift. She did not deserve to be treated that way so that started it.

The second was when they started the more overt abuse of me, like shaving my head and the nightly slam sessions. I didn't perceive it as abuse at the time. I perceived it as them trying so hard to save me from myself, and I am just a lost cause. My rock bottom was thinking, "You know what, the kindest thing I could do to all of them is relieve them of my dead weight. They're spending all these hours on a loser like me. I'll leave, my hair will grow back, and then I can start sending money to them again, but I don't belong here. They're the true seekers. I'm full of s**t, I need to go." Those were the two factors that got me out of there.

Men's Journal: I was really struck by the letter that you left for the group when you departed. It really seems like you believed you were the one who had let them down. How long did it take for you to realize that that wasn't what had been going on?

Hoyt Richards: It took almost 18 months. I think you call that complex PTSD. The research shows it takes at least 12 to 24 months of being out of the overt, abusive environment to consider, "Maybe it's not just you, maybe perhaps the environment has something to do with how s****y you feel about yourself."

My recovery was accelerated when I reconnected with Dar Dixon who had left the group four or five years before me because it's just easier to recognize someone else's situation than your own. When I spent time with Dar, I was like, "He seems pretty f****d up." So, that alarmed me, because he'd been out.

I felt like I'd overstayed my welcome at Fabio Lanzoni's house after he'd been so wonderful and generous. So, I was like, "I can't just keep mooching off of Fabio." So, Dar and I moved in together. That led to a daily discourse of us deconstructing our experiences and realizing that Frederick turned our values on us. We'd be like, "Yeah, when this happened, what do you think was going on? It was weird, right?" We just started to put it together.



After six months of living together, the light bulb finally went off. I looked at Dar and said, "You know, outsiders keep saying that group was a cult. Do you think there's any chance they're right?" He was like, "No, no, no." So, I was like, "Yeah, no, I don't think so either. But, do you know anything about cults? Let me do a little bit of research." And the first book I read on cults, it just like, "Boom. Yeah."

That's the beauty of getting information. Because, despite how horrific that moment was, at least I knew I had a diagnosis, and there was medicine, in essence, that I could start to take, which was therapy and counseling and self-education. That helped me start to put my life back together. But it didn't happen immediately. My family and friends would tell you it took probably three or four years before they felt like I was really back. It takes a long time and it's not like it's ever over. I think we're all dealing with our own demons. It was years before I really felt like I was back in my own skin and could really just be honest, take accountability for all of it, and try to encourage these conversations rather than run from them.

Men's Journal: Speaking of gaining information, I think that there are a lot of people who are ignorant about cults, meaning they are uneducated about them.

Hoyt Richards: I was one of those people.

Men's Journal: Me too. But a lot of those people seem to assume that cult members are lost in life. But it is well documented that a lot of cult members have been very highly successful, highly intelligent, and highly educated people who need validation for their own reasons. What would you say to people to help them understand that? Because I feel like understanding that may stop some from assuming they could never find themselves in a high-control situation involving a cult or a romantic partner.

Hoyt Richards: That's a great question. As I said earlier, I really do believe that giving your power away to someone at some point in a relationship is a universal experience. Joining a cult is just an extreme version of that. People thinking that they're impervious to that makes them even more vulnerable.

That is exactly the seat I sat in when it happened to me, and I continued to sit in it when I was an active member. People like my mother would approach me at certain times when I was in the group, saying, "I think it's a cult." And I'd be like, "You think I would join a cult?" The mere fact that I was in the group was my main reason why I thought it couldn't be a cult, because I thought, "I would never join a cult. Like that doesn't happen to someone like me."

That is the uninformed and ignorant perspective. That would be my greatest warning to everyone who's holding on to that opinion. "You're making yourself a prime target when you hold that point of view. It really is an uninformed and ignorant perspective. If you get yourself information, you will realize, "Oh, not only am I vulnerable, but I've actually done some form of it already, somewhere in my life." That's why I like to frame that cultic relationship, because if we could start using a similar nomenclature, I believe that people might start to be like, "Oh, I think I'm drawn to it, because I've had some experience like this, but I've never labeled it this way."

If we all could use the same labels, I think people might start to recognize they've had this type of trauma, but it was left unchecked, because they didn't recognize how bad it was, because they didn't have the proper label. So, they didn't really get the treatment. That's where I feel the opportunity is to have these conversations start using a similar nomenclature, and we all can talk with confidence about our cultic relationships.

The Power of Survival

Men's Journal: After leaving the group, you have encouraged other people to heal and recover from their traumas. But, during the docuseries, you speak about some of your regrets, and you mentioned the toll your cult involvement took on your family earlier during this interview. While that is understandable, it makes me wonder. Do you take pride in the fact that you dared to leave the group and speak publicly to try to help others? Even just talking to me about what you've been through takes courage, given that there are so many judgmental people out there.

Hoyt Richards: Pride is such a tricky word. But I am proud of the fact that I survived. I got in a situation I never imagined I'd get myself into and found a way out and, more importantly, gained some invaluable life lessons from it. I once met this shaman person, and he said, "The key to life is learning to flip the tortilla." And I was like, "What does that mean?" He took a tortilla and told me to put it down and then said, "It's bad, right?" I go, "Okay.' Then he said, "Now flip it over. Look, it's good. Because that's how you get through life." I was like, "Oh, actually, that's pretty profound."

I think so much of getting through life is learning to say, "Okay, this is not something that was a curse. This is something for me to learn about myself and the world we live in." The more I have leaned into that, boy, it just started to bring all sorts of information. The way I look at the world now isn't only because of that experience, but it's a large part of the lens I see things through, and I'm really grateful for that.

So, if that's what it took, those courses at the School of Hard Knocks that I don't recommend anyone else go through, I look at it and say, "You know what? If I had to go through that to now hold this lens and see the world the way I can now look at the world and myself." It was worth it because it has taught me so much, it has humbled me, and it's made me appreciate the people I have around me that much more. It's kind of like the prodigal son. I love my family, probably even more now that I know what I put them through and saw them stand by me.

Those lessons are so powerful. Until you experience them firsthand, you just don't know if they're real. So, in those ways, it's a gift that keeps giving. It also proved to me, "Look how capable I am of changing my behavior and making a massive change in my life. So if I can do that in a healthy way, I've shown I can buy in, and I can change. So let me do that in a constructive way in my life, and the sky will be the limit.

This story was originally published by Men's Journal on Jun 16, 2026, where it first appeared in the News section. Add Men's Journal as a Preferred Source by clicking here.

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This story was originally published June 16, 2026 at 7:00 AM.