Was it the Grinch or some other thief, who made off with a tree and caused all this grief?
No word on if this person’s hat wasn’t screwed on just right.
Or if their shoes were simply a little too tight.
Perhaps their “heart was two sizes too small.”
Maybe there wasn’t one reason that rose above all.
Said Bellingham Police Lt. Claudia Murphy in a pinch
“A lump of coal is definitely in order for this Grinch.”
It was at 6:35 p.m. in the 500 block of Darby Drive
that police officers Saturday were called to arrive.
There was a dastardly report of a Christmas tree theft
and somebody’s apartment was left suddenly bereft.
The victim, it seems, had brought home a fresh cut tree
hoping to fill his home with the season’s great glee.
But the victim left the tree on the first-floor main landing
while he bounded upstairs to his unit in quick standing.
When he came back downstairs just a couple minutes later
Murphy said his tree was gone — vanished like vapor.
Police soon found a trail of water and needles leading away,
but would it lead them to a culprit? Unfortunately nay.
“We just know that person is on Santa’s naughty list for the year,”
Murphy told The Herald, concealing a disapproving sneer.
But fear not residents of the City of Subdued Excitement,
the holidays are still coming, even without an indictment.
And to the porch pirate who absconded with this tree
we hope the joy of the season you will soon see.
With inspiration from Theodor Geisel of Dr. Seuss fame.
