A new county jail will require more taxes, causing citizen protests by mail and faxes.
The County Council is cool to the proposal to avoid being the object of voter disposal.
But acts of kindness can achieve just as much; hence, here’s my plan with a humane touch.
We have foster programs for adopting orphans that foster a warm, fuzzy flow of endorphins.
Even highways for cleanup have been adopted and many community groups have opted to save city and county the cleanup chores for which we’d have to be taxed even more.
Let’s have a program with requirements minimal where county residents would adopt a criminal.
My friends would prefer performing kind acts instead of again being unfairly taxed.
Place convicts in homes throughout the county and reward each household with a modest bounty.
These lawbreakers we feel should not be denounced just for writing a check or two that bounced.
If rehabilitation is the final objective, a serene home life seems most effective.
The “inmates” could take on household jobs like dusting, dishes and decks to swab. Of course, a few rules must be put in place — too many to list in this small space.
Complaints about “easy time” are unfounded since cons will know they are being grounded. If they get out of line —here let us be frank — householders will have permission to spank.