Families

Column: An ode to mom jeans – and my application for Aurora poet laureate

In honor of Mayor Richard Irvin's recent announcement the city will at some point this year establish the role of Aurora poet laureate, I thought I'd treat all our readers to my very own composition.

Just so you know, it's only been on extremely special occasions that I've felt compelled to showcase the rhyming talents I honed in fourth grade but never managed to improve upon in the ensuing years.

Over the past two and a half decades as a hard-hitting journalist I've waxed poetic about topics ranging from changing technology to the trial of former Gov. Rod Blagojevich.

Today, my poetic message may not be as newsworthy or as trending as past subjects but – and please pay attention to the pun here – they certainly are more fitting.

My topic: The Return of Mom Jeans

'Twas just days into fashion week and all through the town

We started to see a new look gaining ground.

It's literally that sweeping ... as in cuffs touching floor.

Wide legs are back in .... Skinny jeans out the door!

Yes, that dastardly fashion that once ruled the night;

Made sausage out of all us, they fit so darn tight.

'Twas a trend we were sure would stay only a while;

For us mini-van drivers, it simply wasn't our style.

So we clung to our Mom Jeans – wore them high, wide and proud

Until jokes at our expense got more frequent and loud.

Then we packed up that relaxed fit. Who cared about our loss

When the fashion objective was to mimic Kate Moss?

It wasn't just the way skinnys clung to our thighs;

So little tush was all covered, even bending was unwise.

With mean two-inch zippers we didn't stand a chance.

Still, we poured our poor bodies into those tight pants.

Sure, they came with more stretch, but did it really help the cause?

The more they expanded, the more they exposed flaws.

Then glorious resurrection, like a butterfly in spring!

Pants with high waists appeared in Vogue once again.

'Twas followed by denim that gave us all room to move.

And a style once made fun of has again found its groove.

That's because we revolted; consumer choice is not dead.

We started shunning all Levis; turned to yoga pants instead.

Which caught the attention of the folks who make jeans.

They need our retail dollars. It's the way the world leans.

As the fashion world soon followed, you probably know the rest.

Comfy jeans are back in! And it's really Mom who knows best.

The Beacon-News is a Chicago Tribune publication.

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