Families

Lori Borgman: Messing with a neat idea

It only took one episode of Tidying Up with Marie Kondo, the international decluttering guru, to make me a fan. Because I knew the KonMarie method of purging and organizing would be life-changing, I began keeping a diary as I embraced minimalism.

– Fell in love with KonMarie method of decluttering. You hold an object close and if it does not spark joy, get rid of it! Now we're talking! This is going to be great. Our closets will be functional! The kitchen will be streamlined! Our dresser drawers will look like works of art!

– Spent afternoon organizing dresser drawers, folding clothes into thirds and then into small squares. Like doing origami with all my jeans. Workout clothes all folded and standing up like miniature pup tents. Feeling exhilarated!

– Since all my workout clothes are black or gray, had to shake out 16 small rectangles while still half asleep at 5 a.m. to tell workout pants from leggings from T-shirt that I wanted for the gym. Will refold clothes watching another episode of "Tidying Up" later tonight.

– Decluttered garage. Didn't throw away much, but tools, sports equipment, lawn care supplies, and water toys are now in large plastic tubs with lids. Minimalism is expensive. Feeling fatigued. And broke.

– Fingers cramping from constantly folding socks and underwear into tiny squares. Thinking there must be more to life.

– Three-year-old granddaughter taking an interest in folding. Can fold dishtowels into small precision squares. Good to have help.

– Have worn same clothes to the gym three days in a row so I don't have to keep unfolding and refolding.

– Refreshed after doing a KonMarie on laundry room. Steam iron did not bring spark of joy. Tossed it. Washer and dryer did not spark joy. Called for big truck to haul them away. 'Fridge and stove going next.

– Husband complaining that the stove and refrigerator are gone. Some people are not suited for minimalism.

– Tried to interest 3-year-old in folding fitted sheets into tiny rectangles. No interest. Not so interested myself.

– Watched another episode. Think Marie knows about my workout clothes and is judging me.

– Noticed Marie doesn't carry a purse. No makeup? No wallet, cash, credit cards, ID? Maybe she folded them all into teeny tiny squares and tucked them into a teeny tiny pocket. Not giving up my big purses. Ever. Not even for sweet Marie.

– Marie says to get rid of books. Am reeling from shock. Every book we own sparks joy. Marie and I are clearly on different pages.

– Suspect Marie lives in a totally empty house. Good for her, but I miss eating.

– Found a square of chocolate I missed in the pantry purge. Am rejuvenated and heading to the thrift store. At the rate people have been decluttering, there are probably some good buys on major appliances.

Am taking my big brown purse. One of five.

Sorry, Marie.

(Lori Borgman is a columnist, author and speaker. Email her at lori@loriborgman.com.)

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