Witches, zombies, ghosts and ghouls. Lions and tigers and bears. Dare we venture out after dark with election day so close at hand?
A pall of horror shrouds the ballot from top to bottom.
It begins with revelations of Barack Obama conniving with top advisers to let terrorists kill his ambassador to Libya – perhaps in expiation for any sins he didn’t cover in his apology tour of the Middle East.
Mitt Romney is no less spooky: He said “binders of women” instead of “binders of names of women,” a telling omission that betrayed his plot to put half the human race in manacles.
But let’s not forget about Obama gutting the Navy by having fewer ballistic-missile warships than Woodrow Wilson had gunboats.
Washington’s elections are haunted by frightful apparitions. Put on the “Shriek” masks, everyone.
Charter schools are fluttering in the twilight, poised to feast on the blood of public education. Just ask the Washington Education Association.
Jay Inslee, running for governor, has exposed a terrifying truth about his rival, Rob McKenna. As attorney general of the nation’s most plaintiff-friendly state, McKenna actually settled lawsuits against the government.
In the race for attorney general, it’s Alien vs. Predator.
According to Democrat Bob Ferguson, Republican Reagan Dunn bought a $707 rug for his office.
According to Dunn, Ferguson bought a $707 table skirt for meetings.
According to Ferguson, Dunn has been charged with a “serious crime.” Which appears to consist of doing doughnuts in a Camaro on a snowy parking lot – at age 17.
According to Dunn, Ferguson once – as a law student, 20 years ago – helped a death row inmate get an attorney. Two would-be attorneys general, both steeped in criminality.
Things are just as scary in Pierce County’s elections.
According to the WEA, Steve O’Ban, a Republican candidate in the 28th District, would join the Republican Caucus if elected. Believe it. He’s also in unholy communion with those draculoid charter schools.
There’s more: State Sen. Randi Becker in the 2nd District sponsored a bill to let small school districts consider four-day school weeks. More frightening yet, state Rep. Jeannie Darneille – now running for the Senate in the 27th – sponsored a bill that restored the right to vote to felons who’ve done their time.
Who knew that such creatures prowled the corridors of power in Olympia?
Be afraid. This year, Halloween won’t end until Nov. 6.