It’s practically a rite of passage in every child’s life: the bowling party. So many kids smiling ecstatically as they heave a ball the size of their heads down a bumpered lane, just hoping it meanders into a few pins.

Well, bowling parties aren’t just for kids hopped up on candy and soda. They’re equally fun for adults hopped up on cheap beer and fried foods (oh, curly fries, you get me every time).

The all-ages appeal of the bowling alley has deepened for me recently. A very dear friend of mine whom I’d grown to count on as a co-conspirator at the bars has found herself a younger boyfriend. He won’t turn 21 until the end of this year, and like a good girlfriend, my friend doesn’t feel comfortable ditching him to go out to the bars with little old me. I’d be bitter if he weren’t such a cool guy.

So to appease all parties involved, a trip to the lanes works quite nicely. All the of-agers can split a pitcher and the babies of the group can have their sodas, and everyone can enjoy the curly fries (if I don’t eat them all). Then we can all slide our feet into our sloppily disinfected, ill-fitting pairs of hideous bowling shoes and hope for the best.

Unfortunately, the vast skill I have amassed from playing Wii bowling has never quite translated into the gritty world of real-life bowling. This sport of champions is not my forte, but that doesn’t make it any less amusing. My boyfriend and most of my friends and acquaintances tend to fall into fits of laughter every time I step up to the lane. I’ve been known to break nails in the finger holes, throw so hard I bounce the ball into the next lane and slip ’n’ slide on the hems of my too-long jeans.

My expectations for the sport are never too high. If I knock down one pin I do a victory dance. Usually, though, no matter where I throw the ball, it finds its way into the gutter, which I guess is kind of appropriate for me.

While I’m thrilled with the privileges and wisdom that have come with aging, I do miss one thing from my youth. Bring back those bumpers.

Gather your friends and hit the lanes at these local alleys.

• 20th Century Bowling, 1411 N. State St., 734-5250
• Park Bowl, 4175 Meridian St., 734-1430
• Mt. Baker Lanes, 1788 LaBounty Drive, Ferndale, 384-0235