45 etiquette tips
As much as I’d love to say that only newbies would benefit from these suggestions, I fear plenty of seasoned bar-goers could also take this advice.
“It’s a matter of education,” said Richard Hartnell, co-coordinator for B’DAMN. “No one’s getting it these days. You’re not going to get it from D.A.R.E.”
The following tips were offered in the brochure by bartenders at Cap Hansen’s Bar, the (now-defunct) Nightlight Lounge and Rumors Cabaret. B’DAMN will offer copies at prominent venues like Boundary Bay Brewery & Bistro and Rumors, and at events like ’80s Night and the Bellingham Farmers Market.
“Hopefully we’ll see an elevation of conscientiousness with consumers downtown,” Hartnell said.
1. When at a busy bar, pay attention. When it’s busy and I have a crush of people, I scan for eye contact.
2. We’ll come to you when we can. Don’t snap, yell, pound the bar or wave money. It’s rude!
3. Have your entire drink order ready before you reach the bar. “Piggybacking” — ordering one drink, then more when the bartender returns — is very bad form.
4. It’s OK to chit chat with your bartender if the bar’s empty. It’s not so OK to strike up a conversation when we’re up against a wall with customers. Brevity is the soul of wit. And also of a busy bar.
5. To figure out what we have to drink while the bar is busy, look behind us — it’s typically all on display. To check the beers on tap, look for tap handles, which will often be somewhere within arm’s reach of one of us.
6. Customers talking on their phones in line get skipped until they’re ready.
7. Once you get your drinks, move outta the way!
8. We have to know where the drinks are going — bonus points if you bring your whole posse to the bar for a round of shots instead of taking the shots back to your table.
9. Don’t say things like “pour it strong” — it guarantees you’ll get the standard.
10. Liquor first, mixer second (order a “whiskey coke,” not “coke and whiskey”).
11. “Tall” means a bigger glass (but not more liquor). “Short” means a shorter glass. “Double” means extra liquor. “Up” means a cocktail glass. “On the rocks” means with ice, “neat” without.
12. If you ask us to recommend something and it’s busy, don’t get picky.
13. Cash is king.
14. Cash is king.
15. Remember that running cards takes extra time and costs us money. That said, we don’t mind doing it — but let’s open a tab instead of running the card five times, OK?
16. Bills come in stacks, not wads. And try to avoid dropping ’em on the bar if it’s covered in booze! Bored in a long line? Bonus points if your bills are sorted and (facing the same direction).
17. If you have money to drink in a bar, you have money to tip your bartender. Maybe skip that last beer and tip instead — tipping in a bar goes a long way (and buys our groceries).
18. Please don’t assume that I know what goes in the Electric Crocodile On Acid, or another similarly arcane drink from some magazine or the Internet.
19. If you can’t decide whether to drink another, don’t. Or drink water.
20. Never argue with door staff. If they ask you to go, you are going. If you refuse, you’re probably never coming back.
21. We have to follow state and local laws. Not only can the bar get fined for your mistakes, but servers can as well.
22. We have to cut you off if you’re drunk. Sorry — it’s the law. Besides, we don’t want to poison our customers.
23. No amount of arguing has ever reversed the decision to cut someone off. Ever. If you get cut off, we can still serve you non-alcoholic drinks — water, soda and so on.
24. Seriously, we know all the tricks. If you try to fool us into serving you after you’re cut off — or buy drinks for your cut-off friends — we’d much rather lose your business than get a $500 fine.
25. In any conflict between you and staff, remember something important: We are sober.
26. We love you, but you are ultimately a customer. The relationship you have with your bartender is professional, and not in the same way as your therapist. Or your girlfriend. Or your mom.
27. Be respectful. Hitting on your bartender is tricky business; acting like a creep will get you cut off or bounced.
28. In case you do want to hit on your bartender, make sure you tip very well before and after, regardless of any response. And if she or he doesn’t respond, never do it again.
29. Not all bars pour the same drinks or charge the same prices.
30. If you’ve had a few too many, the place to get sick is in the toilet. You barf in the sink, we get to bail it out with a cup.
31. Wear shoes! Seriously — broken glass.
32. If you spill someone’s drink, buy them another one. If you spill your own, the next one isn’t on us.
33. It is possible to be too drunk to get into a bar.
34. Always bring your ID with you — even you, Grandma.
35. You’re not legally considered 21 until the business day that starts on your birthday (sorry — we know this rule sucks).
36. An expired ID does not get you into the bar.
37. Don’t bring in outside booze, seriously.
38. It’s the service industry; remember to do unto bartenders as you would have done unto yourself.
39. If there’s a place for empties, use it. If there’s no designated spot for empties, try to keep them fairly easy to reach.
40. If a drink hits the floor, let staff know. You’ll make a friend.
41. If you see a bar back (non-bartending bar staff) coming toward you with a big tray or an armful of drinks, get moving out of the way early. Especially if it’s busy enough to have to shoulder through the crowd.
42. We serve lots of booze to plenty of people who don’t pick fights, play grab-ass, pee on neighboring storefronts, and so on. If you do, “I’m drunk” is no excuse — you’re out.
43. We’ll make it if you order it, but beer, straight shots and two-part cocktails are good form when you’re at the front of a 40-person mob.
44. Warning: Anyone on stage or behind a bar is 50 percent better looking.
45. We get in trouble if you sleep in the bar. Or even if you look like you’re asleep in the bar.
