Herald readers share limericks in honor of St. Patrick's Day

THE BELLINGHAM HERALDMarch 16, 2014 

In honor of St. Patrick's Day, The Bellingham Herald invited readers to share their limericks.

In Bellingham the rains never cease

Day after day there's just no relief.

Although I am drowning,

I still am not frowning.

I heard it's still snowing back east.

- Norma Stevens, Bellingham


With shamrocks and pipers and pots full of gold

And 'Hamsters who feel they will never grow old

With Grand Marshal waving

And spectators raving

Saint Patrick's Parade will never grow old.

- Beverly Curtis, Bellingham


Yo ho, baby seagull on the Salish Sea,

So happy, there's no place you'd rather be.

For your favorite dish,

Is regurgitated fish,

Steeped in briny tea.

- Linda Scoboria, Bellingham


An Irish firm with a museum Titanic

Will try to make our waterfront dynamic.

The folks at Port o' Bellingham

Hope Harcourt Development's no sham

Lest people's fears turn to panic.

- Dean Kahn, Bellingham Herald


News sped round the world in a flash,

Old concepts conformed or they crashed,

We legalized buds

Did away with our spuds

Gave new meaning to corned beef with hash!

- Doug Diener, Bellingham


Each Irishman waved his fork

As they quarreled o'er whisky and pork.

Which was best was troublin' -

Was it Limerick or Dublin? -

Till someone inserted a Cork.

- Nancy Lewis, Bellingham


There once was a girl named Camilla,

Her lips were as sweet as vanilla.

She kissed each boy in town,

But turned them all down

To marry Jack from the Naval Flotilla.

- John Lee, Bellingham


There is a young man from Dublin

Whose devotion to the clan is humblin'.

He gets quite theatrical

With all things St. Patrickal

Doing somersaults, backflips and tumblin'.

- John Mumma, Bellingham


An Irishman drinking a beer

Is common this time of the year.

If he rides in a car

It is better by far

That he ask a non-drinker to steer!

- Mark Schlichting, Bellingham


A vaulter, armed with a pole

attempted to jump oer a shoal,

but looking aback,

all he saw was pitch black,

and exclaimed in alarm ... its all coal!

- Don Gischer, Bellingham


Two old ladies from Bellingham

Found themselves broke from jelling ham.

"The town has gone vegan.

So probably we can

Make a living by selling jam."

- Meg Hayes, Bellingham


A man crossed the border to Blaine.

When stopped, said "Let me explain:

Dad's on vacation

And needs medication.

He waits on the beach for the plane."

- Pete Tryon, Bellingham


For orange there's simply no rhyme

For purple I'm wasting my time

I can always use green

It just seems so clean

But nothing disgusting as lime.

- Bob Hynes, Bellingham


There was a Saint named Pat

Who chased snakes into mouths of rats

Hero of Ireland long ago

He conquered rain and snow

Fell in a drift and emerged as only you can know

- Marian Yunghans, Sudden Valley


There once was a leopard from Hoe

Who sat in the cinema front row

No one was scared

Because he has shared

A cage with an ant called Monroe

- Kevin Williamson, Bellingham

(written when he was a child in England)


Poe was a poet long past,

Whose emotional insight was vast.

He swore on his oath:

If that Raven doth quoth,

'Nevermore' anymore, it's his aspirations; too low I should think.

But I'll soon have him back in the pink.

He'll gain effervescence

Through antidepressants.

Come morrow we'll go see my shrink.

- Jim Orvik, Bellingham


There once was a boy who loved burritos.

He liked to stuff them with tons of Fritos.

He folded and ate

Until it got late,

But then got stung by mosquitoes.

- Mark Frazey, sixth grade, Assumption Catholic School


There once was a boy named Lee.

He fell down the stairs and broke his knee.

"Oh crud!" he screamed.

Then fell asleep and dreamed.

So he was rushed to the hospital ASAP.

- Alec McGreevy, sixth grade, Assumption Catholic School


The leprechaun jumped up, up and over

The beautiful four-leafed clover.

He protected his gold,

From those young and old,

He even once stopped a rover.

- Colm Schaefer, sixth grade, Assumption Catholic School


I knew a fair lass who would pout,

If she thought her pub future in doubt,

But her dates she would win

With her mischievous grin

When offered a pint of dark stout!

- Doug Diener, Bellingham


When Paddy Kane went on a bender,

His bender produced a bent fender.

His wife Maureen

Created a scene,

Crying, "Don't come home till you mend 'er!"

- Nancy Lewis, Bellingham


At The Herald there's a lady named Laura

Who's looking for limericks, begorra.

She was told "Bellingham"

Can't be rhymed worth a damn

Now she's asking, "Please send me somemora."

- John Lee, Bellingham


Miss Murphy who lived on street Smarty,

Made soup that was quite good and hearty.

She carefully screens

Two-thirty-nine beans

For one more would make it two-farty.

- Mark Schlichting, Bellingham


The Irish snowbird had no doubt,

With just cacti and no Guinness about,

That just like a lizard

His own parched gizzard

Would suffer a personal drought!

- Doug Diener, Bellingham


There was a young man named McGraw

Who couldn't believe what he saw.

His buddy O'Flynn

Drank a bottle of gin

And did it all through a straw.

- Nancy Lewis, Bellingham


There's a newspaper lady named Sarah

Who reports on our cultural era.

When she cries you might think

She weeps printer's ink,

It's not ink, it's just her mascara.

- John Lee, Bellingham

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