Question: At my small business we pride ourselves on great customer service. But we still occasionally have difficult or angry customers. What are some ways to deal with these situations?

Answer: Every business, sooner or later, will have to deal with a client or customer who is difficult, angry, or upset. A smart business manager plans ahead and is ready to deal with it when it arises. Let's talk about this.

Throughout our lives we've heard it: "The customer is always right." Well, actually, no. But the customer is always right to feel how they feel about something, right or wrong.

Some businesses, for example in the hospitality industry, live or die by their customer service. Restaurants are a good example. One thing to note: Internet blogs and also websites like yelp.com (enter "Bellingham" or a zip code in the search box) make it easy for anyone to anonymously share their opinions. For most any business, a blast of negative customer sentiment can be a big setback.

Some businesses have to deal with upset people routinely. Imagine the emotional states of the people coming in to a car impounding business, or the foreclosure department of a home lender, or an oncologist.

Keep in mind that we are all driven by our emotions. When a customer says, "Your product doesn't do what you said," he's really saying, "I feel cheated." When a client says, "Your service was very poor today," she's really saying, "I felt unimportant."

Not to get too scientific about this, but behavioral psychology has given us great insight into how angry people act. Some skills which you need to use in dealing with an angry client are the same as the tactics used by hostage negotiators and crisis intervention counselors. Most angry people are in defensive mode, not on the offense.

Never try to address the solution to a problem until you and the customer have fully gone through the emotional part of the discussion. Remember that empathy doesn't mean that you agree with him or her, but that you accept what the customer is saying and feeling. This might include some of the following steps:

- Be an active listener. Here, you listen and observe the customer's behavior and body language. Try to read between the lines. Some examples of your sincere empathy responses: "I see what you mean" and "OK, can you tell me more about that." Remember, your mother told you that we each have two ears and one mouth.

- Summarize key points. Examples: "John, what I'm hearing is that you expected the printer to do hi-resolution graphics, and it doesn't." Or, "OK, at this point you're concerned that my advertising proposal is off-base and doesn't meet your needs."

- Find common ground. Ask the customer what they think would be an acceptable resolution to the problem. If you have given the customer their due respect, you may be surprised that their expectation is less than you thought.

- Use an "If...then" question. Examples: "If I can get a replacement product here within a week, would that be a good solution for you?" or "If we could redo the floor plan drawings by next Wednesday, would that fit your timeline?"

Many businesses are tempted to outsource customer service to a phone-based outfit. Granted, it's cheaper, but there is an often-overlooked downside. Consider this: you loose much of the feedback that occurs when in-house people interact with customers. If customers realize that the service representative is not really part of your company, they are less likely to share important information. Also, an outside service rep has no real incentive to elicit or send back customer comments; their objective is to dispatch the issue. Be careful about using non-company people for this vital function.

You can develop your in-house skills with a role-play exercise. Have employees play the mad customer, while you play the front-liner. Then switch roles. This can be a fun exercise.

And last, here's a hint for dealing with mildly disappointed customers. This means that your business did a customer or client a small wrong, such as delaying their appointment or mixing up their order. Try this: Buy several $10 coffee-shop gift cards. Have them ready where your business has customer interaction, for example at the sales ring-up area. Instruct your staff that if someone is dissatisfied, say the following (or similar): "I'm sorry we inconvenienced you - please take this gift card and enjoy a beverage on us."

Look at these situations as opportunities to make your great customer service even better.

ABOUT SCORE

To learn more about managing cash flow, and other small business matters, contact SCORE, "Counselors to America's Small Business." SCORE is a nonprofit nationwide organization with more than 13,000 volunteer business counselors who provide free, confidential business counseling and low-cost training workshops to small business owners. Call the local SCORE chapter at 360-685-4259 to schedule an appointment. For details about the organization,visit SCORE.org.